


The Avengers Calendar

by JaneyKatherineHummingbird



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cracky fun, F/M, TaserWing, the avengers are very photogenic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28248498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyKatherineHummingbird/pseuds/JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: Darcy is helping wrangle Avengers to make a calendar. One of them she finds particularly photogenic.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Sam Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	The Avengers Calendar

The Avengers Calendar

January

“C’mere Bucky. This won’t hurt a bit. We just need a few shots of you looking all broody and mysterious.”

“That’s what they always say,” Bucky mumbled, swaggering grumpily toward the stool Darcy pointed him to.”

“Why do they even want me in this thing?” He sighed. “ Aren’t I bad PR?”

She sighed and shook her head.

“You’re a hero, Bucky. Anyone with common sense knows that.” She circled the stool, examining him critically. Satisfied at last, she drew back beside the photographer. 

“Trust me when I say your presence in this Avengers calendar will most definitely boost sales. Now behave for Katie and this will only take a couple minutes.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, a touch of a smirk on his lips. 

“Don’t ma’am me, I’m not fifty.” She retorted, giving him the side eye. He winked at her, and she huffed, thinking Steve had been right about his friend being a hopeless flirt. 

February

“Please tell me I don’t have to do some weird hot assassin pose,” Natasha sighed as she took her seat in front of Katie’s camera.

“Nope!” Darcy shook her head. “We just want you to look like the badass agent you are. “Show ‘em that Black Widow stare.”

“The one that entices them or the one that makes them wet their pants?” Natasha asked with a grin.

“Both!” Darcy exclaimed approvingly. “This is gonna be so great!”

March

Bruce arrived looking somewhat bedraggled and Darcy had to help do some quick grooming and primping before he was camara ready.

“I’m sorry, Darcy. I got absorbed in a project and totally lost track of time,” he apologized.

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “I understand that science waits for no man. At least you showed up. Blue’s a great color on you, by the way,” she told him as he straightened the collar of his dress shirt. Now, just look at the camera and think about your favorite science things and we’ll be good. Got it?”

“Yeah,” he answered nervously.

April

Wanda looked apprehensively at the camera, very stiff and uncomfortable. 

“I am afraid I do not take a very good picture,” she said apologetically.

“Hmm, try thinking of something you enjoy doing that makes you relax,” Darcy suggested. “Or maybe the time Clint mistook a skunk for a stray dog and got sprayed. Remember how he stank for weeks? And that we all got to help dump tomato juice on him?” 

Wanda perked up, a slow smile spreading across her face as she remembered. 

“That was hilarious!” She giggled.

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that again!” yelled a wounded sounding voice from the ceiling. 

“Shut up, Clint!” Darcy yelled back. “I made no such agreement.” 

Wanda was still smiling when the camera began to click.

May

“Geez, Tony. You never do anything halfway, do you?” Darcy asked with a fond roll of the eyes at the billionaire’s very fancy three piece designer suit and blinged out accessories. He was clearly taking this photo shoot very seriously. 

“Nope.” He grinned at her very pompously and she rolled her eyes again.

“Ugh. Just sit in the stool and listen to Kate. I’ve got Pepper on speed dial in case you start misbehaving.”

This threat rendered him very meek and obedient and Kate soon had all the Iron Man pics she wanted. 

June

Maria Hill was super intimidating, but super awesome and Darcy felt a bit star struck around her. She handled the photo session with her usual unfazed, almost bored air and Kate complimented her on how well the pictures turned out. If anyone had been born to be Shield, it was definitely Maria Hill. 

July 

Steve, being Captain America, was of course picked to grace the month of July. He arrived in full patriotic garb, including the shield. It was well known he hated photo shoots, so Darcy put on her most winning smile and tried to be as kind as she could about it. 

“Less angry face, more earnest face,” she told him. “We don’t want to scare the children.”

“Sorry,” he blushed. “I’m not great at this.”

“That’s okay,” she told him. “I’m not great at punching Nazis, but I do taze them whenever I meet one. You’ve got this, Cap.”

Steve smiled at this and Kate quickly snapped the picture. 

The man was really gorgeous when he smiled like that and Darcy was pleased with the success. 

August

Scott Lang was one of the coolest Avengers, in Darcy’s opinion and had her laughing a lot as he regaled her with tales of his ant friends. He seemed more everyday kind of guy and it was a lot easier to talk to him than some of the more well known Avengers. The photo shoot was pretty smooth and both Darcy and Kate were charmed by his self-deprecating humor and personality. Darcy thought Hope was a very lucky woman. 

September

Next it was Clint Barton’s turn and there was much giggling and silliness in the studio as Darcy tried to get him to look serious and kept cracking up at his ridiculous faces.

“C’mon, Legolas!” she pleaded through peals of laughter. “Is that really the face you want showing up in the calendar?”

“What’s wrong with my face?” he protested, feigning ignorance.

“Nothing,” she said, “but there will be if Fury finds out you ruined the calendar with your clown face expressions. Now, get serious or you won’t get blueberry pie tonight.”

Clint straightened up quickly after that.

October

Stephen Strange was particularly put out by having to appear in the calendar, but he kept his thoughts to himself mostly. Darcy had heard the man was a bit of an ass, but she’d met way worse. 

“Holy cheekbones!” Darcy thought to herself. 

She took great amusement in how his cloak would frequently poke said cheekbones when Kate asked him to look a little less scowly. There were rumors about said cloak being sentient and apparently, it was true. 

“Do you think you could put a spell on my jacket to get it to act like that?” she asked jokingly, provoking a tiny smile from the sorcerer.

“It doesn’t work like that, unfortunately,” he answered. “But I have considered self buttoning coats.”

November

Sam Wilson had the coolest outfit of anybody in the Avengers and Darcy shamelessly admired him in his Falcon gear. 

“Criminally underrated!” she declared. “They should have done a whole calendar just of you!” 

He crossed his arms and smirked at her. 

“Are you flirting with me, Lewis?” he asked, squinting at her suspiciously.

“Sure!” she replied gaily. “I mean, who wouldn’t?”

“You can freaking fly, you’ve got killer arms, and you’re super hot.”

Kate stopped and stared at Darcy, who clapped a hand over her mouth, completely embarrassed that she’d said all that.

“Ummm, sorry. That was unprofessional of me,” she apologized, busying herself with some props, scolding herself for letting her filter fail again, especially in front of Sam.

He was cool about it and didn’t mention it again, but after he’d left and Darcy had sat down to royally kick herself, she was handed a note by Katie.

“Falcon left this for you,” the photographer said with a smile.

It had a phone number neatly written on it and below it:

“Coffee sometime?” 

December

Thor arrived for his turn behind the camera looking regal and majestic as usual. Darcy was in very high spirits from the success of her coffee date with Sam and couldn’t stop smiling as she coached him through the shoot.

“Ah, Lightning sister! Is it true that the noble Falcon has designs on you?” He asked jovially.

She blushed and smiled even bigger.

“I think so. He asked me for coffee and was super sweet. We’re going to have dinner on Friday.”

Thor beamed and she heard Kate exclaim “Get it, Darcy!” from behind the camera. 

“Please tell me you didn’t threaten him?” she sighed affectionately, as she adjusted his cape. Thor was very protective of her and liked to make sure anyone she dated knew just what would happen should they cause his friend hurt.

“I warned him,” Thor admitted. “But he was not frightened, unlike the others. I have high hopes.”

“I keep telling you you don’t have to do that, but that response does seem like a good sign,” Darcy said, heart thrilled that Sam had stood up to Thor. It seemed he REALLY liked her. As soon as she’d finished with her duties for the day, she was gonna go dress shopping. It had been way too long since she’d looked forward to a date this much. 

Bonus:

“November is my new favorite month of the year!” Darcy sighed, clutching her copy of the newly printed Avengers calendar. She was incredibly proud of how it had turned out and ran around distributing copies to the involved parties. 

“Got a thing for birds, Lewis?” Maria asked dryly, as Darcy tried not to drool over Sam’s picture. 

“THIS bird, yes,” she declared. She was unashamedly loopy for one Sam Wilson and she didn’t even try to hide it anymore. Despite her new happiness, she was still very observant and noticed that Maria’s eyes lingered a bit longer on January than they did the other months. Hmmm, interesting. With a rather fiendish grin, she went to find her new boyfriend and start plotting.


End file.
